ZZZzzz . . .

Hm, was sleeping so soundly when this idiot, the cloth dealer come knocking on our office door. Make me jump up!! Sian. Today boss and her parents are not in. Can do whatever I want. Even our office uncle oso sleeping in the office. He everyday sleep during this time de la.

Rain rain rain, making office so cold, so good to sleep in. Ever since Belle got in to Primary sch, the most I get to sleep everyday was 6, 7 hrs only. Veri tiring. This few days made breakfast for them to brim to school. Egg and ham with bread. Well, they like it alot. Belle keep complaining she has stomaches, but I suspect she got gastric pain cos when she was little, she always got gastric virus, making her stomach veri weak. So I decided to make breakfast for her to eat every morning since by the time she reach the school she dun have the time to take her breakfast. I also make for both boys to brim to school. Especially Garren. He loves it alot. He likes meat and eggs alot. Always eat more meat and eggs that other kind of food.

Belle never spend much money. She got $1 meal coupon from school everyday and she mostly use that to buy food. Most of the time, the $2 my mum gave her left untouch. Makes me wonder she really got take her meal during recess or not. As I afraid she will stupidly spend money on her frens, I cut down her meal money. I give her $1.50 instead. The rest of the money she saved this few weeks, I told her to keep in another wallet and leave it at home. Everyday I will check her wallet to see if I need to give her or not. If she still have some money left, I will top up till $1.50 to let her brim to school. I also will ask her what she eat everyday. Scare she will buy tibits to bite instead of having a decent meal.

Have sign her up for tuition classes provided by CDAC but still need to wait for quite some time. Things related to govt always took alot of time. Why? Really got so many pple applying for govt assistances? To tell the truth, I really dont believe there is so much income below average families. Most pple I saw everyday seems to held a good income jobs... Haiz... Ya, of cos, what I see doesnt really mean what it is most of the time. So seeing doesnt really means anything.

Belle got full points for both her chinese hanyu pinyin spelling tests for last two weeks, but veri bad points for her english. Time is really veri packed to teach her. Last Sat went for Parents meeting at her school and the english form teacher got mention that we shouldnt force the kids to learn all 10 words in one day as they cant absord so much in one go. This is what I did previously. She say we should let the kids learn 2, 3 words a day... This is what I did now. The teacher is right. al least she doesnt feel so stress now.

All blame myself. When she is in nursery classes at his's there, she always went to school at 10am, 11am or 12pm which she actually never really learn anything since its already so late or never went to school. I should have took her education more importantly. Parents plays a very important role too. Cant just throw everything to the school teacher. Early "proper" schooling is really important. Luckily she managed to catch up some during her 2 years in kindergartens. Garren went to school when he was 2 years old. Now going to 4 years old, he know more english words than his sister when she was 4 years old. Even my youngest son understand english when I spoke to him. My zhuzhu and I communicate in english de. Of cos he oso understand mandarin cause me and the 2 elders communicate in mandarin. Sometimes, 2 elder one will speak to him in english cos they know I always speak english with him. He was in childcare ever since he was 4 mths old....

Im really striving hard to give them a better life, a normal life like every kids. Wishing them to be more obedient. Just hope that this peace last forever...

Past?Now?Future?

Last night someone ask me, "You and him last time seems to be in good terms. He only beat you once right?". I just shook my head. I really dun want to think about it. The life that I lived in the past was like shit, being treated like I'm not someone child too.

Whenever I think of the fear, the anger, the disappointment, the betrayal and the abuse, I think I'm really stupid, a damn stupid woman. So stupid that I cant actuali different what is good and what is bad... Of course, if i can turn back time. I willing to give anything to go back the time when I never met him.

To make things worse, I have failed my children. I gave them a horrible family. A hirrble father. I also cant understand just what I see in him. I admitted I was young and naive that time and never think of the outcome. I should have know all this will come. All my fault. What I don't want to end up like my parents, should have leave him years ago. F**king angry with myself.

Now I have think throughly. I have think carefully about my kids and my future and I really hope he can just leave us alone. Since he never take care and care about us, then why still being so childish and create more trouble? Be like a real grown up, just let go since there are no more feelings in us. Don't make the kids suffer because of his childish way.

I really want to end all in a peaceful way.

Life is just so damn suay to have met him...

Change again....

This blog skin really makes me headache... Finally finished all.

Photos time!!!! Cam -Whoring the Kids....

CNY coming and I havnt bought any clothes for myself. Cos I really short of money and dun wan to spend so much on this kind of things. I still need money for getting Garren into tuition classes. Saw alot of nice clothes that time I went to IMM with my mum but never buy...

This is Belle's new year clothes. Esprit pink princess-like dress. Veri sweet hor. The dress got butterfly embroidery on it. Guess wat, cost 10 something only...

This belong to Garren. Calvin Klein jeans and a Claiborne red with color stripes polo-T. I like the jeans alot. Its a wide-straight leg cutting. The color are more to dark which is good cos bois tend to get dirty more easy.

This is my zhuzhu de. Also a Calvin Klein jeans but different cutting and pattern. Both jeans got a adjustable button at the side. I chose a Fila Sport T-shirt for him. Actually I dun like to buy those formal wearing or festival clothes for them. Cos veri waste of money. I like them to wear casual and can wear often...

This shoe I bought for Belle last month at IMM. I told her to wear for her CNY. Cost $20++. Actually din wan to buy so early de. But she keep saying she like it alot and want to have it. I like the embroidery at the side of the heel.

It is bought together with Belle's shoe. For Garren. Acutally just wanted to buy for him to wear for normal outing. Now think about it, might as well let him wear for CNY. LAst year bought for him a Converse shoe, seldom wear cos veri troublesome. Veri wasted.

As for ah zhu, I havnt buy cos his feet is really veri small. Veri hard to find right size for him and I dun wan to buy those mickey mouse or Pooh de anymore. Want to go for normal de.

My thoughts....

Suddenly I thought of my past and life I have been as... I had a not so simple and plain life when I was a teenager. I was rebellious. Although frens around me are all mostly like that, but Im really glad I get to know them. Because they have being really "true frens" during my rebellious teenage years.

I was always outside the whole nite hanging around town all places that most teenagers would go. We done all sorts of bad things and get into all sorts of troubles but they are always beside me. Without them I might have being sleeping the road side or get carry away by strangers when Im drunk.

Ya, frens, only need 2, 3 really good one. I know alot of pple but true frens... only 2....

Another Play Play Play day

Cam-whoring in office hour...





This is my boss latest pets. 1 mother hen and 6 cutie chicks. Now raising in our company. She got it from a construction site from one of our customer. Veri veri cute those chicks. I had not seen a real chicks in many years... hahaha...

Went to library to return books and pay the fines of overdue. After that went to find my mum and we went to IMM to search for kids's CNY clothes. Manage to buy one set for each of them.

Belle and Garren with pet cocketiel, Dong DOng.

Sometimes I really feel I dunno how to teach my kids. Especially Belle. Althought she always help me out at home, she seems to be hard to concentrate in her homework and study when I told her to do. Especially spelling... always dilly dally and anyhow learn. I think I spoilt them too much liao. Haiz...

Teaching children is the hardest thing to do for a parent. Especially my time and strength are so limited. Im so afraid that 3 pf them cannot do well in their studies. If really like that, Im sure I will get depressed. Who dont wish their kids to have a brighter future?

One more day passed again~

Yesterday went over to mum there again. Pass her some Belle's clothes and of cos go there chit chat with her and helping her out.

Tomorrw working again...
This year muz earn hard... Seems like I have not enough money to spend loh... Think nobody will think they got enough monwy to spend, hahaha...

Friday goin dwn there again. Need to hurry up and finalised everything... Hope all will end soon.

Now really more and more things for me to do.
Have to teach Belle to do assessments, iron their uniforms and everyday have to rush here and there to fetch them. Nobody can understood how my life is now. Everyone thinks my life looks easy, but not at all. I have to be a mum and a dad and a breadwinner and a listener. Every and everything I have to depend on myself. Even my family cant help me much. Dont really blame them, only blame myself to be blind and stypid and believe in whatever they say.

Anyway, being nagged by my mum about Belle. Seems like she being talking back to my mum when she told her to do homework and dont run about. My mum was angry, so was "uncle". I know its my fault. Spoilt too much lor. Maybe I feel I owe them too much becos I given them a useless bum as a father and a family that have no love at all. Now I have to discipline them much more stricter... Hmm...

Chosen CCA

Belle have chose ballet for CCA. She wanted to join badminton becos her form teacher was there and I dont allow her. I dun want her to join just becos of the teacher. It should be something she is interested. So I ask her she say she want ballet.

Actuali can choose 2 CCAs but I let her join 1 first. The other one when she is older then let her decided what she wanted. The informm Club which is learning about computer, she was not allow to join cos that is for pri 3 and above students. I told her if she want to join then when she is primary 3 then go join.

Her ballet classes will start at next week friday from 2pm to 3pm, if Im not wrong. I ask those ballet kids and they told me this. Hm, I told my mum about it and she say ok mah. More suitable for gals good ma. Ya, I think so too. When I was kid, school where got so good CCA. All are those normal type of CCA. Nowadays kids are so fortunate, can learn so much things at school lor...

Belle's CCA

Tomorrow goin down to Belle's school during recess time for the CCA open house. Need to go see wat CCA to choose for Belle.

They got Art club, chess club, reading club, cool science club, service learning club, library, fusion dance, drama club, chinese dance, india dance, malay dance, gamelan, ballet, active kidz club, athletics, badminton, basketball, soccer, table tennis and scouts. Dunno why dun have brownies and red cross lor...

I need to go down cos some of it I dunno wat it is. Like the service learning club, active kids club, gamelan. Must at least find something that suit her and can occupy her spare time.

Remember when I was in primary school. my CCA are librarian and basketball player. Actuali Im not so interested in basketball. I join cos of my school frens. All of them are joinin mah... I dun wan Belle to be like me. I wan her to find something she is really interested in and not just out of curiosity.

I otld my mum Im thinkin of letting her join ballet, she say join that got what use. Ask me let her join something good for study. I told her muz let her join something else in case if she is not good in study at least can let her work toward other interests mah...

See how tomorrow what she will choose...

Today Went to...

Today we went to have MC for our dinner. Belle suggested it. They had hamburger and I had mc chicken. We even bought twister fries cos only this time of the year will have.

After that brim both bois for a haircut. Keep ka na scold by my mum cos Zhuzhu hair is so long that alot of pple thou he is a ger... Now after haircut, I still find him look like a ger... hahaha... Actually CNY is coming so muz have a haircut to look neater.

Finally got my SE W580i. But I still think SE W850i are the best. Quite disappointed that the earpiece is not like wat I see in the ads. The ads have white cord yet when I bought the phone the cord is black. I ask the sales person why its different from wat I see and she just say they come are like this. Got ans like no ans. What makes me attracted to the phone are the earpiece... Sian.. But I bought it anyway... cos ' its PINK'!!!

My "Pink" collections. This are the three things that never left my side. Wherever I go, they go. LOLZ!!

Belle like me loves pink. She oso got her own collections like her winx school bag, princess wallet, princess pencilbox, etc. Like mother like daughter, hahaha!!

As for the bois, of cos I dun let them carry pink things around them. Luckily, they dont really have preference over colors.

This few days really veri tired. Every morning wake up at six and sleep at almost around midnite. So tired!! No choice, need to let Belle to go school. Sometimes I really feel bless to have a daughter cos I always wanted a sister when I was little. Growing up with bois (my bros) only really makes me feel lonely sometimes. Having Belle now are really like having a sister. Maybe when she is more older, we can even go shopping togetherm watch movies together. I always wanted to do this... Haha...

Gonna sleep now. Still have to wake up early. Ciao!!!

Beatbox Asia Championship 2007 tickets

Notice!!

I have bought 2 tickets for Beatbox Asia Championship 2007 show and my mum are unable to help me look after my kids on that day. The tickets cost me $39 bucks each and Im selling it at $35 bucks each.

Interested pple can email me at eileen1982@hellokitty.com.

Show date is on 2nd Feb 2008 at 730pm, so if you are interested hurry and send me and email!!!

Guests performance got 5566, Mi Lu Bing, Daren Tan, etc!!!

Congratz to Sandy ! !

Congratulation to Sandy for her newborn baby girl!!!
Born today which is 07/01/2008.

First day Of School ~~

Yup! Finally Belle are officially a Primary one student. Wahahaha!!

Feel so proud of her. Wonder if other mummies feel the same way as me anot... Tink sure have bah.

Yesterday 1st day of school, I woke her up at 6am, push her to brush teeth, wash face, then change on her new school uniform. She was veri good. In the past, its hard to wake her up de. Tink she is excited and curious about her new school. Actually Im oso veri curious and excited too... Hahaha!! Anyway, the school bus come at 715am which they are late for 15mins. They told us to wait at my next blk at 7am. Most of the students are actually waiting there when we reach at 650am. I let her sit the school bus to school herself. Actually wanted to go work, but ended up I apply a day off cause my mum keep nagging about how unsafe for her to be alone on the 1st day, making me more and more worried and so last min took a day off. Her recess time was at 10am to 1030am. I went over at 10am. I walk to there since its not far from my home. BUT the stupid back gate was closed so I actually walk a big round to the school front gate.

When I reach Belle was not down yet. So I waited at the staircase. Then I saw her class students coming down and then finally saw her with a older student they so called "buddy". She never saw me at all and I can see she was ver y lost... So I followed behind them to the seat meant for her class student. I heard her buddy asking her what she want to eat, she just shake her head.... Haiz, so I go called out to her and told the buddy that I brim her go buy food. Really alot of parents there lor. The canteen was so pack that its really hard to walk. Then she chose to eat fried bee hoon with egg. After eating I ask the buddy to bring her walk walk. She bring her to toilet and they walk around till I dunno where she is. I just stand there waited untill the recess time is over then go back home.

She finished school at 1pm. Normally, Mon to Fri, school time is till 130pm except Wed. I reached at 1240pm. This time I took bus to there. So tired of walking up and down. I waited at the school bus zone. Saw alot of bus driver and aunties and parents. Then slowly students began to appear from the stairs, some went home with parents, some went to find the school bus they should be sitting. Maybe its the first day of school so its kinda of confusing and messy when the school bus drivers are trying to find the right students for the right buses. Cause seems like alot of students took bus from home but go different places after school, like Belle. Belle morning took school bus from home but after school she took school bus to my mum 's shop at Jurong. So they kinda of forget or get mix up. If I never go, I think they will send her home...

Finally when everyone is on those buses, its already 2pm... I took cab over to mum's there cause the bus was full. Belle arrive around 20 mins later but they drop them at the next block instead of my mum's block. Why? Think the uncle is in the rush and he actuali ask Belle, " Here ok?" Belle sure say ok since she oso dunno how to say turn the other way. Luckily she is quite familiar with my mum's area and she walk over herself. I was not happy with the bus uncle attitude so I told my mum to call them and say them. The bus uncle can still actuali say he got ask Belle ok anot. If she is so clever to answer him, I might as well let her took public buses. He think I pay 70 bucks every month for fun izzit? Then they apologize and today they alight her at my mum's block.

Belle say she loves the school alot and Im glad. This few days she actuali go to bed early herself and packed her school bag herself too. Kekeke...